How domestic violence tearing homes apart

•Economy, culture fingered

•Alimosho, Ikorodu, Eti-Osa lead in cases

•Men also victims, underreported

•Eko Haven on rescue mission

RECENTLY, the kitchen is no longer the only place getting hot in Lagos homes; every room is on fire. Marriage is supposed to be about partnership, but in 2026, for a growing number of Lagos couples, it’s about who throws the first punch. She threw the plate. He threw the first punch. By morning, the marriage of five years had two black eyes and a broken dining table.

Meanwhile, Lagos has handled approximately 700 cases involving male victims of domestic abuse over the past one year. It also recorded 33,009 cases between late 2021 and mid-2026, perhaps highlighting an intensified legal crackdown despite heavy caseloads.

DSVA Executive Secretary, Titilola Vivour-Adeniyi, disclosed this when she led a delegation on a courtesy visit to Vanguard Media’s Apapa office.

She fingered economic pressure, mental health strain, and a culture of silence as top culprits, turning domestic disputes into full-blown fights. In 2026, “till death do us part” is taking on a more literal meaning for too many couples, she said.

Across apartments in Alimosho, Surulere, Ikorodu, and Lekki, arguments over money, stress, and infidelity are no longer ending in slammed doors. They are ending in fisticuffs. Husbands and wives, once partners, are now throwing punches. And as violence tears Lagos homes apart, what used to be whispered as “marital issues” is now spilling into hospitals, police stations, and the streets.

Beyond Physical Violence

Domestic and sexual violence extends far beyond physical violence to include emotional, verbal, and financial abuse.

From arguments over school fees to late nights and WhatsApp messages, violence has moved from the street into the bedroom. Counsellors, police, and survivors say the pattern is clear: Lagos homes are tearing apart, one fight at a time. The question is, what broke first: the home or the people in it?

Women Bear Primary Brunt at 90%, as Reporting Revs Up

According to Vivour-Adeniyi, the data released by the Lagos State Ministry of Justice and DSVA revealed over 711 cases formally charged to court.

Approximately 88 per cent to 90 per cent of adult domestic violence reporters are female, though male victims account for about 10 per cent to 12 per cent of cases handled by the agency.

Domestic violence, she said, accounted for the overwhelming majority of reported incidents, totaling 13,515 cases. Official demographic data showed that adult women continue to bear the primary brunt of abuse, representing approximately 90 per cent of reporting survivors, compared to roughly 10 per cent male reporters.

The figure highlights a growing shift in public reporting as economic pressures continue to place a strain on household stability across the state. Lagos State Government, through the Domestic and Sexual Violence Agency, DSVA, has secured over 160 court convictions against perpetrators of Sexual and Gender-Based Violence, SGBV, in the last one year.

Areas of Prevalence

The local government areas (LGAs) consistently generating the highest number of reported spousal and adult domestic abuse cases, according to DSVA, include Alimosho, Ikorodu, Eti-Osa, Kosofe, Ikeja, and Oshodi-Isolo.

Ikeja LGA Adopts Campaign

Complementing the state government’s drive to curb the menace, the Ikeja Local Government has championed a sensitisation campaign and walk through the streets aimed at raising awareness and promoting peaceful homes across the council area.

The exercise, which was held last Wednesday, was organised by the Women Affairs and Poverty Alleviation, WAPA, and led by council officials and community stakeholders.

Participants displayed placards bearing various inscriptions, such as “Say No to Domestic Violence” and “Ikeja Says No to Domestic Violence,” as they called on the public to speak up against all forms of abuse.

The exercise also focused on healthy communication, mutual respect, and peaceful conflict resolution, with residents urged to report cases of abuse while supporting victims and witnesses in accessing help promptly.

Ikeja Local Government reaffirmed its commitment to building a community where residents can live free from violence, intimidation, and abuse.

Homes in Crisis

A recent case study happened in a Lagos suburb, while a quiet community in Ifo Local Government Area of Ogun State was left in shock after a Celestial Church pastor killed his wife during a domestic argument before later dying on the Lagos-Abeokuta Expressway.

The incident happened in the early hours of Monday, August 31, at Ogooluwa community, Akiode Ibogun. The pastor, identified as Bidemi Odukoya, was the Shepherd of Iri Orun Parish of the Celestial Church of Christ, which he reportedly ran with his wife.

According to accounts from residents, the couple had an argument around 2 a.m. Odukoya allegedly attacked his wife with a machete and a wooden stool, causing fatal injuries.

After the attack, the father of three boys reportedly left the community and headed towards Coker Junction, along the Ifo section of the Lagos-Abeokuta Expressway.

He was later said to have walked onto the expressway and thrown himself in front of a moving truck. He reportedly died instantly.

Early Marriage Vulnerability

DSVA data shows that 35 per cent of domestic violence survivors experience abuse within the first five years of marriage. About 30 per cent of women reporting abuse were pregnant at the time the violence occurred.

A fatal domestic violence case was the popular case involving 25-year-old Olajumoke Olaniyi and her husband, Motunrayo Olaniyi, 30, which occurred on October 4, 2024, at Amazing Grace, Ikorodu. The victim, Olajumoke, 25, was six months pregnant.

During the altercation, Motunrayo stabbed his six-month-pregnant wife multiple times in the abdomen with a kitchen knife following an argument over unfounded accusations of infidelity.

Having locked her body inside their bedroom and set the room on fire, he then inflicted knife wounds on himself in an attempt to cover up the crime or take his own life, but neighbours alerted the Ikorodu Police Division after noticing smoke emanating from the locked room.

Emergency responders and police officers forced their way into the apartment, extinguished the fire, and recovered Olajumoke’s body on the floor. Motunrayo was rescued alive with injuries and rushed to a nearby hospital for medical treatment under police custody. 

He was subsequently transferred to the State Criminal Investigation Department (SCID), Panti, for prosecution.

Interventions

Over the past few years, the DSVA recorded hundreds of formal “threat to life” reports stemming from intimate partner disputes, triggering emergency rescues and shelter placements at facilities such as Eko Haven.

State authorities issued restraining orders, conducted over 500 rescue operations, and provided psychotherapy and counselling to over 1,400 survivors and 250+ abusive partners for rehabilitation.

Men Suffer Too, Figures Reveal

Highlighting the male demographic in domestic abuse statistics (male victims account for 10 per cent of adult domestic abuse cases reported to Lagos authorities), another anonymous 38-year-old husband in the Eti-Osa axis faced persistent physical violence, severe verbal degradation, and threats to life from his wife.

Attempting to de-escalate the situation without violence, the man utilised the DSVA’s Virtual Referral and Response Service (VRRS). The agency assigned a clinical psychologist to conduct joint and individual therapy sessions. Legal counselling was provided to enforce safety boundaries, resulting in a structured legal separation agreement handled through the Ministry of Justice.

Cyber-Harassment, Domestic Threats

Following a decision to leave an abusive marriage, a female survivor residing in Kosofe was subjected to non-consensual sharing of intimate images, digital harassment, and repeated death threats by her estranged husband—an example of technology-facilitated gender-based violence, which saw nearly 100 formal reports filed in Lagos over the period.

Intervention: The survivor reached out to the DSVA’s cyber-harassment desk. The agency collaborated with law enforcement to track the digital threats, secured an urgent court-issued protective order, and initiated criminal proceedings against the estranged husband. The survivor was enrolled in a long-term psychological recovery programme.

Fresh controversy on marital rape, as DPP Intervenes

In an interesting development, the State Government has cautioned husbands in the state against having sex with their wives without mutual consent, warning that the action attracts life imprisonment if convicted.

Responding to a question on whether Nigerian law allows a married woman to sue her husband for rape for having sex with her without her consent, as is obtainable in some other countries, the Director of Public Prosecution, Lagos State Ministry of Justice, Haroun Adebayo, stated that “while the law in Nigeria does not recognise such as rape, it is, however, categorised as Sexual Assault by Penetration and attracts life imprisonment under the state law.”

Haroun noted that the wife has the right to sue, even as he maintained that the man would be charged for another offence.

Stressing that the payment of bride price does not confer permanent consent, he further noted, “Under Lagos State Criminal Law, a man cannot be accused of raping his wife if they are together and are in good terms.

“However, once there’s an issue between them and the wife refuses to have sex with him, the husband cannot force her.

“If the husband forced her and the wife reported him, we will not charge him for rape but for sexual assault by penetration, and the punishment is life imprisonment,” he said.

DSVA Scope

The operational and legal scope of the Lagos State DSVA covers critical core pillars categorised into direct survivor support, institutional child protection, and community preventative actions. The agency serves as a centralised, multi-agency responder, providing immediate medical, legal, and psychosocial support to survivors of abuse.

If the husband forced her and the wife reported him, we will not charge him for rape but for sexual assault by penetration, and the punishment is life imprisonment